Confessions of a desperate actor with a bad case of island fever.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Reliving the moments

I can't believe how many people on this island recognise me from beauty and the beast. I went to a halloween party last night and I had like 20 people stop me to tell me how much they enjoyed my performance....this is also happening daily on the street. People who hadn't even seen the show were approaching me to tell me that they had heard such fabulous reviews of my portrayal of belle. One person actually said that somone had told her they must have brought the leading lady in from abroad. ha!!!
I'm not used to all this positive's overwhelming and I don't know how to take it. I mean, it's wonderful and I do truly believe I achieved something great in my performance but I wasn't expecting such praise.
I'm not trying to boast but I'm feeling pretty good about my talents lately. so good and so motivated, in fact, that I want to move to NY NOW. TODAY. while I have all this drive and lingering adrenaline from the show. I have confidence and I know that doesn't make itself at home in me for too long. I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now!!

Plus, i'm interested in having a better relationship with my parents and that would involve me not living with them ever again.

well my lovah and i are going to see "the last king of scotland" shortly so i must be on my way.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Nazi Dreaming

I officially have the weirdest dreams that also take the cake for being highly disturbing.

ok skinny rabbit, you were in this one last night.

So I'm hanging out with skinnyrabbit, having a laugh, eating grapes and shootin the shit when all of a sudden my lovah runs up to me in an angry panic and tells me that I made him sick. he told me to go to the doctor to find out what he was talking about. so I start freaking out, thinking i've given him some frightening std, which i assure skinnyrabbit is a falsity because I had just had my annual checkup.
I run to the doctor who isn't my real doctor but is some gorgeous, dramatic doctor from one of the soap operas and I tell him to give me a check-up. instantly, he says, "oh my, yes, it's true. You are very ill and if you don't take this medicine now you could die."

"what??? why? what's wrong with me???"

"I haven't seen this disease in years. It's a very rare respiratory disease. It's called Salopia. Or better known as the 'nazi disease.' You see, the nazi's used to fall ill with it after all the smoke inhalation from the crematories."


"Yes, your friend skinnyrabbit has it too. you are the first known cases since the halocaust."

then i woke up. I wanted to at least find skinnyrabbit before i woke up but i never did. i'm glad i woke up though. that was some freaky shit.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

it's over?

So the show has come to it's inevitable end and I'm feeling rather lost this day after. It's some kind of post-partum funk and I almost always exerience it.... but even more so this time around..... We, as a team, brought forth our own unique version of this time-old tale and we succeeded in entertaining the masses. We also achieved, (perhaps, one of the most rewarding gifts of the whole process) in acknowledging our work as collaborative; as equals sharing the same intention of offering up our talents, hard work and energy. It wasn't about us, it was all about them and always will be. The people I had the honour to work with inspired me; from the 11 year old girl to the 68 year old man. I was inundated with fortune.
It may be trite, but you really do become like a family. It's the only experience in life where I've grown to care so deeply about a group of people in such a short period of time. but that's all part of the magic of the theatre....and you always want more. you know what i'm talking about. you're all like my family too.

the other greatest part of this show were the little girls who came backstage to see me after EVERY performance. I learned quickly, after the first time this happened that I needed to keep my wig on until I was done hugging and writing them notes in their programs. the first time i took off my wig, walked out of my dressing room and 3 girls stopped me and said, "who were you in the play?" and i said "i was belle!" with a great big, enthusiastic disney smile and one girl, quite abruptly says, "You look different." and that was it.
from then on, i kept the wig on and had the time of my life watching the faces of these little girls light up. It made my night every time. they really believe you are 'it'. they get nervous, shy, overjoyed and one small darling actually cried. i won't drag the blog on but i need to retell the story....

so, one matinee i emerge from my dressing room to find 3 gorgeous little girls all dressed up in their own yellow belle gowns. you know the one. they were soooo excited to show me their dresses and i made sure to go on and on about how beautiful they looked. (I must admit, i'm superb with the little ones) then i see another little girl hiding behind a corner so i go over to her and give her a hug and compliment her on her pearls. she's wearing an ordinary floral print dress and can't seem to take her eyes off the other girls adorned in their 'belle' gowns. then she starts tearing up and whispers to me, "I...have a dress like that at home too....I was going to wear it,, it didn't fit me".
oh my gosh, i thought i was going to lose it. I quickly told her that her dress was even more beautiful because it was blue and yellow like both of my dresses and that it was better because it was unique. then i hugged her again and continued to dwell on the beauty of her pearls.

i could cry just thinking about it.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Impressive peeps!!!

Can I just say that some people on this earth rock my socks with their wit, charm, and intelligence. Namely you fellow bloggers.

I am impressed that skinny rabbit is still able to incorporate show tunes as blog titles well into his months and months of blogging. and that he recently revealed very personal information......he just went up 5 steps on the coolness ladder. well no, you've always been on the top step there.

I am impressed that neenia has such strength (actually all of you do) and that she realises her hotness and amazing persona!!!

Artsmonkey, you are on top of you creativity game. writing, performing, creating. wish i could be there to witness the fruits of your labours.

Princess alatheriel and her magical imagination. your thoughts alone are enough to write a book.

.......and me, well, i get the award for the cheesiest blog EVER!!!

(i'm feeling rather emotional and a bit lonely right now.....i'm just missing and thinking of you all)

Friday, October 06, 2006


My eyes are burning!!!!!!!!! I just got out of the shower, sat down at my computer, dripping wet and naked, and I have s shit-load of soap in my eye and it STINGS!!!!! I'm rubbing it like crazy but something tells me that's making it worse....oh great, now i'm crying........maybe i should get back in the shower.

now i can't even remember what I was going to blog about. hmmph

i must look pretty funny right now though. I feel like a little kid.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

New and a bit alarming....

So B&B rehearsals are in full swing.........but why hasn't the show come together and why do i feel like my performance is going to smell like cow dung? UGH!!!!
I'm feeling a mutual frustration with my castmates.....our director is lovely, has a lot of patience, but it's all moving soooo slowly.
for the last two weeks we haven't been allowed to act because he wants us to be 'safe' and mark every step before we layer the acting. i understand his logic, but it's sooo difficult and it feels like the show is boring. it's needs spice, it needs emotion, colour.....I don't know.
But anyway, so there has been all this talk among the cast about this whole "safety first" issue he's always reiterating. It became a joke among the cast.....people began counting how many times he said the word "safe"......people started imitating him and then one guy went a little too far. On friday night he showed up to rehearsal wearing a shirt the said in big letters along with a band-aid on the front, "SAFETY FIRST" and then on the back across the shoulders it read, "WHO'S ACTING?". We all found it funny and he was very brave to do such a thing but I still think it was better left undone. There's no need to start taking the piss out of the poor guy until we discover that there's no time left to pull together a great show. We still have another week and a half and anything can happen.....a miracle would be great at this point but we have to have faith and trust this guy!!!! I've just never worked at this kind of pace before and it's throwing me off a bit.

but AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I'm scared, I really am.

oh yeah!!! I almost forgot. He wants me to be a brunette belle!!! I let him know that I wasn't super keen on dying my hair but i would do it if i had to, but we found a sexy human hair wig that looks way better on me than my mary traverse hair did....Even though I think a blonde belle would have been more than appropriate. I'm a slave to the show now though.