Confessions of a desperate actor with a bad case of island fever.

Saturday, February 24, 2007


Dear whom ever decided to put oceans in between countries and make them far apart and not easily accessible,

I have recently been split from my Lovah due to the Atlantic Ocean. Now, this was my decision because I needed more for my life; More opportunity, more stimulation, more noise, more chaos, more dreaming. You get it. My lovah, who is on that small island I left, will not be with me for quite some time. This upsets me. Thanks to YOU, we have been fighting for 2 days now. And, get this, it's getting worse. Fuck MSN messenger. It breaks hearts. It makes me cry. It leads to misinterpretation and misunderstanding, thus esculating the drama. Cell phone bills are hella expensive, so fuck cell phones too. Skype has helped, but all in all, nothing works quite well enough, so while I'm at it, fuck skype.

You know what that means? That's right, FUCK YOU.

Yours sincerely PISSED OFF,
Jessica, aka the girl who's crying and hates you.

Friday, February 23, 2007


PHEW!!!! Ok, so the last time I tried to blog I couldn't because of this whole google thing and then when i tried to switch to this google account it wasn't working so I got really fed up. BUT THEN i tried again tonight and HOORAY!!! I'm back in the cool kids blogging world! And in need of your support/advice/wise words. You know the deal.

Sooooooo, yes, here I am in NYC and how much do I love it? even though i don't have a whole lot of friends and no social life? I love it much more than being in Bermuda. I love this city. I just started working at a gym which is.....well, there's a lot to say about that thus far but I don't know if I feel like getting into it. I'm so exhausted right now...I had to be up at 5:15 to be at work for 7 and then to these classes I'm taking. I'm on my way to becoming the best personal trainer I can be!!!! And boy do I have a lot to learn.......muscle names like corocoradialus and brachioradialus......infraspinatus...aaaaaahhh!!!! How can a person memorise those when there are hundreds of impossible names like that? not to mention bones, ligaments and tendons. But the truth is, I'm excited to be learning something new. I'm gonna make me smarter!!

NEhow, being sans lovah has been difficult these first few weeks but we've actually been really great, besides for just now. Between the start and finish of this blog, we somehow got into an argument. It had to do with that fact that I was tired from my long ass day and I wasn't very talkative. Blech. Long distance SUCKS.

I miss u guys. Come visit.

I'll blog again soon when I'm not so loopy-loo and in need of a good night's sleep.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Injured Heart

So that's it. My lovah left NYC today and I'm still here. We're apart, separated by 762 miles of Atlantic Ocean. Oh, how it hurts. My eyes, literally, have not dried since he left 6 hours ago. Watching him drive off in that cab just about made my heart give out and my body collapse. I love him more than I ever imagined possibe. He is my best friend and so much more. .....(so much for the dam i had built to stop these tears, they're back. I knew there was a reason i didn't want to write this blog yet.) But i need you guys. You, my online companions will be hearng much from me now that I have embarked on this many new changes, exciting opportunities. I like my neighbourhood. It's way uptown but I love it. i love that i'm living with my brother and his girlfriend and how much they're looking out for me. i'm in a really positive environment; i'm incredibly thankful for that.

Tomorrow's monday which means the start of a new week, which means i have many tasks to accopmlish. i've already opened a bank i just need to get a cell phone and find a job, find a gym, a dance studio and go down to TKTS and see what's half price tomorrow night.........i'm thinking of trying to see a show a week for the next few weeks. i want to see "the apple tree" and "spring awakening"...and so much more.'s a bit overwhelming but i think i like it that way.

oh my!!! I saw the revival of a chorus line on friday night!!!!!! and MY GOD, i couldn't believe how many memories came flooding back. i felt like i was watching chris blair all over again....they had identical kinda freaked me out. (oh and skinnyrabbit, you were way better. he just wasn't the same without the leg lift on "i mean, it didn't go down for 3 years") and charlotte d'amboise who played cassie turned into ethel merman during 'music and the mirror'. but her dancing kicked ass. but still, she didn't do the whole package for me. but i thought of all of you and got overly sentimental and, consequently, cried my eyes out. OH! I was also psyched because Bebe was played by the chick who was Curly Sue!!! i don't know if anyone else shares that favorite childhood movie but I was ecstatic about it. what's even cooler is, is that she was awesome! AND her mom played the same role in the original show. love it.

ok...this blog is getting so long that i fear none of you will read it.