Fare ye well, oh trusted companion

Dearest Mazzy,


Even though we've said our goodbyes and I will never have the pleasure of holding your smooth steering wheel in my hands again, I shall never forget you.

I shall never forget how you taught me to drive, even though we failed our first test together. And I will never forget the way you looked at me with such pride when I finally passed that test. Or the way you smiled when I vacuumed your insides. Even though you smelled like smoke and people complained, you were always sugar and spice to me.

I will never forget the way you would bat your eyes at other cars; your courtesy and friendliness always reaching out to other road-raged automobiles.

And I most certainly shall never forget the way you giggled every time I inserted my key into your ignition.

And even though you didn't cry when that taxi hit you right before Christmas, I knew how much you were hurting. And even though your ability to play music was waning, I knew how hard you were trying to bring those songs to my ears. I knew how much you loved the music, and how much you loved to dance.

Even though you are being replaced in the parking lot, you will never be replaced in my heart.

Here's hoping that Mazda heaven will be traffic-free and turtle-wax abundant.


Yours forever and ever,

Jessie xo

Little Britain - Lou takes Andy to Church as a Baby Jesus

Lou and Andy on Christmas Day...

LITTLE BRITAIN

Ok, before I forget....you must all acquaint yourselves with the genius that is "Little Britain". I meant to tell you all about this tv show sooner but thankfully Neenia's 'lost' blog reminded me. It's a british show (go figure) and it's hilarious. the kind of show where you incorporate lines from it into your daily life. It's these 2 guys (who are comedic wizards) and they have each created many different characters. So it becomes a series of sketches with just these 2 guys. Cross-dressing, outrageous, gender-bending, sorcerers of laughter! I'm telling you now, try and rent or purchase what you can. you won't be sorry.

ok, that said here's a taste.....it doesn't do it justice but PUH-LEEZE watch this!


ok it's in the blog above......

Depend less. Independ more.

For some reason this week I've been drawn toward watching dark, violent films. Films that I hope will leave me thinking or stun me for a couple days but, so far, I've been disappointed, depressed and plagued with nightmares about my lovah leaving me for one of his ex-lovahs. I had this awful one last night; I was crying so hard in my dream I couldn't even get any tears out; my face was frozen into an anguished expression and I was moaning. I woke myself up and found that I was, in fact, making a disturbing whimpering noise. The dream has left me on the verge of tears all day and what makes matters worse is that I went and expressed to my lovah that I thought I was experiencing feelings of distrust and now we're in a huge, unnecessary fight. Brilliant.

I watched 'Apocalypto' and rented 'Mean Creek' and 'The City of God' over the last 2 days and I don't think I can say I enjoyed either one. I was impressed with performances but I just wasn't..... happy...or glad to have seen them. But maybe that was the point?

Do you ever think when you watch a movie with someone you are close to, that you are almost watching it through their eyes? You think about what they might be thinking about the film and from your knowledge of their likes/dislikes/moral beliefs etc. you stop watching the movie with your own eyes and take on a whole different view and end up disliking a movie because of it?

I think I do that sometimes.

I think I like watching movies on my own.

Am I really that far gone from my own independence? Scary thought.

Manhattan Approaches

Somehow, I still have not grasped the reality of my upcoming move across the atlantic. It just doesn't seem to be of great consequence because it's only a 2 hour plane ride after all; Tickets home don't need to run any more than 300 bucks round trip....so what's the big deal? It's the actions I have to take once I get there that are the real nightmare. I've been trying, endlessly, to organise my plans from this end...via internet and phone calls but no plans are solidifying. I have yet to find a place that will certify me as a personal trainer and then hire me, like I plan to do. I want to work in a gym or in the fitness industry while I brush up my skills and confidence in the artistic world. I do NOT want to fold clothes or serve tables or work an espresso machine. It will, no doubtedly, kill my soul. I will not allow my inner superwoman to be suppressed!

I re-watched 'Angels in America' the other night and Mary Louise Parker, Meryl Streep and Al Pacino have once again, ingnited more of my passion and motivation. I thank them. and Tony Kushner, of course.

I have saved enough money so that I will survive if i don't get a job within the first 2 months. But if I'm not working, I'll be roaming the street of Manhattan buying shit. Eating out. Seeing movies. Going to museums, theatres, galleries..........calling my lovah long distance. Getting on a train, plane or other automobile to Toronto. I'm trying to get there to see 'Nine'....as it will also give me an excuse to see YOU! well......not the lucky lady in Switzerland (which upsets me profoundly) but hopefully, the rest of you.

I don't know what this blog was about......I move myself and the important shit that I own to NYC on Thursday, February the 1st.

oh my....that's 3 weeks today.......

Toot Tone

I found this to be wildly entertaining....but then again, I would.