Letting it go

There is so much to say and little time so I will try and relieve my heavy brain succinctly.

It all began on Tuesday night........

At the far west end of the island there is a place called Dockyard. There is a cruise ship docked there every week, usually the big fat, oversized royal caribbean. As a ways of entertaining the tourist crowd at that end, there is this weekly market/entertainment night every tuesday for the lot. Cruise ship performers are showcased as well as local acts. I was asked last week if I would fill in for the person who emcee's the whole night and so i went last tuesday to check it out and see what it was i would be doing the following week. WELL! I show up and the guy that was meant to replace this girl who had gone, just never showed up! 5 minutes before showtime i was told i would have to do it.

WHAT???!!!!

I had NO idea what i was doing and production managers and crew members were throwing words and tips at me left right and centre. It was a nightmare. When i got up on stage in front of the 400 or so tourists and locals, i thought i had entered a bad dream. One of those dreams where you forget your pants, or you get on stage only to forget all of your lines. However, because I am good at portraying false confidence i managed out alright. it was not perfect by any means (my lovah was sure to remind me of this) but i got through it.

I was a bit bamboozled afterward and just wanted to go home and crawl into bed. I went to my lovah's and had a breakdown. I forced him to talk about what was going to happen to us after i left (even though he had made it clear he did not want to talk about it yet). I had been going crazy for days thinking about it, and he told me that he hadn't given it a whole lot of thought.

Great.

I've decided to go with the flow now.....I refuse to get upset about it anymore. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see.

Que sera sera.