Realities Approaching

Ok. So the school in NY I have been trying to correspond with for the past 7 months of my life has finally let me know that they have received ALL my transcripts. This could mean my plan is actually going forward, which means I may be a permanent resident of NYC by January, which means I'm actually going, which means I'm leaving home again for a big city, which means I'm both scared and excited,.......none of which has set in yet.

Am I REALLY going?? Is this for REAL??? Will someone pinch me please? (Daddy Warbucks? Grace?.....i just couldn't help myself on that one)

I have to live with a roomate again and worry about bills and rent and making sure people don't kick beer bottles off my balcony when our parties get a little out of hand! SWEET VIRGINIA!!! How exciting it will be to be a grown-up again!!!!

How sad it will be to leave my lovah; my new bestest buddy, my love comrade. That being the scariest and most depressing of all.
I may be home sick; for sure,I will miss my parents, I will selfishly miss my security and comfort of life here, but most of all, I will mourn the severing of the union my lovah and I have created over the last year.

I want to stay with him. I don't want the 4oo or so miles of atlantic ocean to break our bond, it's just not fair!! I'm so sick of hearing everyone say, "What's meant to be, will be" because it doesn't always work that way. You have to work to save what you want sometimes, sacrifices and all.
Unfortunately, the one sacrifice I cannot make for anyone is remaining in Bermuda. I need to fly away for a few years and return when I feel ready and I'm not ready to settle here just yet. Right now, I have an agenda, and that's to be happy and fantastic as a brand spanking new, New Yorker.

I want to ask my lovah to come join me in this new title..........but something tells me I'm setting myself up for disappointment. I don't want to be far from him, I don't want him to be far from me. I want to stay cozy with him. I don't think I'll find another snuggle bunny quite like him.

Now my eyes are getting blurry...........why does this hurt so much already?